god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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