Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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