Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize