grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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