I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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