i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
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just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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