you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize