On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
