and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
