we're blogging at a bar
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize