Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
