i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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