I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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