apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
