Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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