he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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