Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
