apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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