i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
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Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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