Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
