This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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