My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
