I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We were destined to go to rehab together
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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