no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
