I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you win again, gameday.
no you cant smoke seaweed
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
