I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize