got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch