Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
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I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
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I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off