definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach