Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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