i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
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