Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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