ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
