i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
