i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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