you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
me + whiskey = a bad person
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
