if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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