I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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