fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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