I look better un-naked...
only if we run a train.
done.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
