Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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