I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
