Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
