I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
