wakey wakey hands off snakey
there's paper in my vomit.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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