i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize
