Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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