We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Randomize
