Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
