this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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