he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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