I think im going to throw up on grandma
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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