Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
