There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
