Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
