idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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