i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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