it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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