is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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