yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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