Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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